Michael Cummings: Don’t Touch Your Eyes After Chopping Jalapeños & Other Life Lessons

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Michael Cummings

Don’t Touch Your Eyes After Chopping Jalapeños & Other Life Lessons

The Duplex, NYC, October 19, 2017

Reviewed by Chris Struck for Cabaret Scenes

Michael Cummings

The cabaret world is better off for having Michael Cummings, and the opera world less so. Cummings didn’t just showcase a handful of well-rehearsed lyrical odes to Broadway, he demonstrated that, even for a night of fun, you can up the ante, speed rapping “Look at Me Now” (Chris Brown/Busta Rhymes/Lil Wayne) at a 146-beat-per-minute metronome in a British accent. Boom. Drop the mic. Leave now. Can’t top that. Oh, wait, but then he did… at his insane 176-beats-per-minute “practice speed,” which he elucidated to us in ultra-dramatic fashion. It was awesome, indeed.

If that’s all this show had, I think we got more than we came for, but he also had flair and more. He started us off right by pulling off the jock gear to reveal a suit and tiara underneath.
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The night was his and so were we, and when he ended with “I Put a Spell on You,” it was certainly true. Just about everything Cummings sang would be worth highlighting here. Despite that and the fact that he fell inevitably right into a classic cabaret by trying to reveal his true self, there are some things that stood out.

For a first-time cabaret performer, Cummings managed to seamlessly transition from song to song with unbelievably well-done segues.
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They were so natural that it felt like he would be off on a tangent only to bring us right into the next song. For example: After he discussed how when training for opera, everyone told him to do something different, he thrilled us by digging out the classic “Everybody Says Don’t” from Anyone Can Whistle. Afterwards, he taught us a little something about it by mentioning that, while the original song was done by a man, women loved it so much that they owned it. And no one more than Barbra Streisand.

Well, of course that meant that he was going to be doing a Streisand song, but what one would he choose? So simple. Of course, he chose the Streisand “Jingle Bells?” from her first Christmas album where she butchered the whole song. It was simply marvelous, hilarious, and beyond impressive how he seemed to easily replicate her pitch, tempo, and volume changes on her 1967 “masterclass” in picking apart a song.

Cummings was joined on stage by the talented duo of pianist Jody Schum and percussionist Noah Hyams, who did a good job of following him through his dramatic arrangements. Although he had said this was a one off, Cummings is too good a personality to not show up again in a cabaret room soon, hopefully back at The Duplex.
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Or perhaps back at an opera that takes its performers more seriously. Time will tell. Until then, enjoy!

Chris Struck

Chris Struck's debut novel, Kennig and Gold, is due to be officially published in June 2019. He's written reviews for Cabaret Scenes since August of 2017. For more information about the writer, see StruckChris.com